Fun

jokes

Employee: “Boss, I need a raise. Three other companies are after me.”

Boss: “Really? Which companies are they?”

Employee: “The electricity, mobile, and gas companies!”

Husband: “Honey, I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to donate.”

Wife: “Why not just throw it in the trash? It’s much easier.”

Husband: “But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.”

Wife: “Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.”

Son-in-law: “I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house.”

Friend: “That’s nice of you! What did she say?”

Son-in-law: “She moved in. Apparently, she really liked the idea!”

Husband 1: “You know, my wife and I have been married for 20 years, and we’ve never had a single fight.”

Husband 2: “Wow, that’s impressive! How do you manage that?”

Husband 1: “Well, we decided early on that I would make all the big decisions and she would make all the small decisions.”

Husband 2: “That sounds like a great strategy! But how do you differentiate between big and small decisions?”

Husband 1: “Oh, it’s simple. Anything important or significant is a big decision, and anything trivial or inconsequential is a small decision.”

Husband 2: “And it works?”

Husband 1: “Absolutely! We haven’t had a single big decision in 20 years!”

Neha (Married): “You know, marriage is a workshop.”

Ritu (Unmarried): “Oh really? What kind of workshop?”

Neha (Married): “Well, the husband works, and the wife shops!”

Father-in-law:“You know, son, when I first met you, I didn’t like you at all.”

Son-in-law: “Oh really? What changed your mind?”

Father-in-law: “Well, when my daughter insisted on marrying you, I figured there had to be something good about you.”

Son-in-law “So, you approve of me now?”

Father-in-law: “Let’s not get carried away. I just realized that if my daughter can put up with you, you must have some special talents in patience!”

Meera: “You know, Radhika, my husband says I spend too much time on the phone.”

Radhika: “Oh, really? Same here! But you know what I told my husband?”

Meera: “What?”

Radhika: “I said, ‘Darling, I’m not on the phone all the time. I’m just running a 24/7 helpdesk for our home!'”

A mother and son were driving down the road when they passed a sign that said, “Clean Restrooms Ahead.”

The son turns to her mother and says, “Why do they advertise that? Shouldn’t all restrooms be clean?”

The mother chuckles and replies, “Well, dear, it’s all about managing expectations. Just like when I tell you I’ll be ready in five minutes!”

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife looks at her husband and says, “Honey, if I died, would you remarry?”

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, “Well, I don’t want to think about that right now.”

The wife persists, “Come on, just tell me. Would you remarry?”

The husband sighs and says, “Okay, okay. Yes, I probably would.”

The wife looks at him, disappointed, and says, “And would you let her use my golf clubs?”

The husband replies, “No, she’s left-handed.”

Ritu: “You won’t believe what happened yesterday! I asked my husband to help with the cooking.”

Sunita: “Really? What did he say?”

Ritu: “He said, ‘Sure, I can help. What do you need me to supervise?'”

Sunita burst into laughter, “Typical! They think they’re master chefs just by watching a few cooking shows!”

Ritu nodded, “Exactly! I told him, ‘If supervising were a sport, you’d win a gold medal!'”

Wife: Honey, why do you always carry my photo in your wallet?

Husband: Well, whenever I face difficulties in life, I take a look at your picture, and it reminds me that if I can survive being married to you, I can handle anything!

Saas: “Do you know the secret of a successful marriage?”

Bahu: “No, what is it?”

Saas: “Well, on the day of your wedding, just tell your husband, ‘I will follow you wherever you go.'”

Bahu: “Oh, really? Does that guarantee a successful marriage?”

Saas: “Yes, because then he’ll choose the remote and stay at home!”

Free Astro Consultation